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I'm an antisocial gamer Am I wrong for doing this?

AuthorMessage
Survivor
May 14, 2011
5
I am a solo player who has no friends. I blocked all friend requests and group invites.
It just feels weird to hang with people who I don't know in real life, and when fellow wizards ask me to friend/hatch/quest with them, I don't know how to say no without coming off as an unfriendly jerk.
When they ask for an explanation as to why I won't be a buddy, I am clueless as to how to respond and feel a little guilty for systematically turning people down.
I will be polite to other players, but we simply can't be friends. After all, these are strangers I'm dealing with.

Archon
Sep 17, 2012
4120
You can do the game successfully solo, but it is more difficult. I find it much easier with each new wizard. As for turning down people who want to friend you... just tell them your list is full and if they keep asking say thanks but you don't want to remove anyone.

Adherent
Feb 07, 2011
2931
Elsieangelcake on Mar 18, 2014 wrote:
I am a solo player who has no friends. I blocked all friend requests and group invites.
It just feels weird to hang with people who I don't know in real life, and when fellow wizards ask me to friend/hatch/quest with them, I don't know how to say no without coming off as an unfriendly jerk.
When they ask for an explanation as to why I won't be a buddy, I am clueless as to how to respond and feel a little guilty for systematically turning people down.
I will be polite to other players, but we simply can't be friends. After all, these are strangers I'm dealing with.
i can relate to this. i started off as a solo player. i had no friends in-game, and so i would welcome whatever help i could get... until people started to take advantage.

it got worse as i leveled up. people would spam 'help'; i would port to them and find that they didn't really need help~ they wanted someone to gift them or do their quests for them. or they would use me as a teleport pad. one guy got so bad that i had to remove him; another saw his last day on my buddy-list when he (at level 27) ported to me in the middle of a mob fight in avalon~ i had just killed the critters i was dueling and was almost dead, and he dragged in another monster that killed us both. i lost all credit for my quest kills and had to start over.

after that, i turned off ports and blocked all friend requests. i will add those i wish to; for those i don't, i simply tell them that my list is full or that i only add people i know in real life. the second someone on my list begs for something or ports in uninvited (if i accidentally leave them on), i give them one warning and, if they persist, they get removed.

the people on my list now are mostly those i've met on these boards (we connected on wizard101central and met up in-game), some of whom have become dear friends. but there is one person i added recently who i'm not so sure about... she's a lot of fun to farm with, but has taken to begging; last night, she asked me to give her 28 black pearls. i told her no. i said that whatever i have is mine for crafting~ that i made them myself with the transmute recipe and don't have any to spare. she claims she's the same age as me, so one would think she'd know better than to expect stuff for free, but i don't know how to let her down nicely if i decide to end the friendship.

i am not a jerk for saying no, and neither are you. some people need a little tough love, and you are not obligated to be friends with anyone.

-von "i'm not mean, i'm friendliness-challenged" shadowsong
20something wizard, antisocial gamer, mostly-solo player.

Delver
Oct 29, 2013
211
Perhaps a straightforward and honest response to the request like, "Thank you for the friend request, but I prefer to limit my friend list to people I know in real life."

Miranda Nightsinger, Archmage Necromancer
Scarlet Windhammer, Journeyman Pyromancer

Explorer
Apr 21, 2012
75
Having friends in the game makes the game more fun. I can understand your point about strangers. But isn't ever potential friend a stranger at first? Your are correct in having caution about making friends on the internet because you never know who they really are. But in this game if someone starts asking you for information about you, get away from them. You can have "friends" in game that you just play with and have fun. If they want to become closer friends, just tell them you don't do real internet friendships. Your just here to have fun and play the game. So, you can have "friends" or people you know to play with and help out just let'em know that you don't do the internet friendship. That it's just your way.

Explorer
May 23, 2009
62
I am an adult player who has no friends in real life. I started playing after a family member brought me membership to give me something to do after I came home from work. They know that I almost never leave my house (aside from work) and is a very difficult person to talk to before I started playing. I am so grateful that I gave Wizard101 a chance because I met a player who did not give up on me in trying to show how a friend can be loyal. It is because of Wizard101 that I lower the barrier around my heart which prevents me not want to talk and be friends with people. Even though I've still have yet to make a friend in life, I am now more willing to trust people and give them a chance. My social experience from Wizard101 has improved my relationship with my family. All I will say is playing wizard is more fun with friends and sometimes you cannot feel unless you let go of yourself.

Champion
Feb 29, 2012
488
Elsieangelcake on Mar 18, 2014 wrote:
I am a solo player who has no friends. I blocked all friend requests and group invites.
It just feels weird to hang with people who I don't know in real life, and when fellow wizards ask me to friend/hatch/quest with them, I don't know how to say no without coming off as an unfriendly jerk.
When they ask for an explanation as to why I won't be a buddy, I am clueless as to how to respond and feel a little guilty for systematically turning people down.
I will be polite to other players, but we simply can't be friends. After all, these are strangers I'm dealing with.
There's nothing wrong with that. If you want to solo, it's your choice. If they try to guilt trip you into friending them, don't let them. How you play your game and socialize is your choice. Just do whatever makes you comfortable.

I tell people whose requests I've refused that I'm not comfortable with adding/hatching/grouping up with people I don't know. Most of the time this works.

Mastermind
Jan 27, 2010
325
Don't feel bad i also solo and have blocked friend request but I wouldn't say that I'm antisocial because I enjoy talking to people that I run dungeons with and when asked for a cause as to why you turned down a request simply say (it's not that I don't like you I just don't friend anyone).

Explorer
Jan 19, 2009
57
Elsieangelcake on Mar 18, 2014 wrote:
I am a solo player who has no friends. I blocked all friend requests and group invites.
It just feels weird to hang with people who I don't know in real life, and when fellow wizards ask me to friend/hatch/quest with them, I don't know how to say no without coming off as an unfriendly jerk.
When they ask for an explanation as to why I won't be a buddy, I am clueless as to how to respond and feel a little guilty for systematically turning people down.
I will be polite to other players, but we simply can't be friends. After all, these are strangers I'm dealing with.
Although I totally that you just don't want to be friends with total strangers, I think making online friends is key to persevere in this game. Soloing is no fun in my opinion, because not only does it make the game a lot tougher on my behalf, but it's also really tedious. Besides, out there in the real world, almost everyone is also a stranger unless you get to know them! There are lots of nice people that are warm-hearted, and just give making friends online a chance.

On MMORPGs, I don't stand a chance without friends. But then again, this is about you, not me.

Give it a chance- odds are you'll make great friends.


Melissa Smith
Magus- ALMOST Master Sorcerer
Honorary Engineer

A+ Student
Dec 11, 2010
1516
Elsieangelcake on Mar 18, 2014 wrote:
I am a solo player who has no friends. I blocked all friend requests and group invites.
It just feels weird to hang with people who I don't know in real life, and when fellow wizards ask me to friend/hatch/quest with them, I don't know how to say no without coming off as an unfriendly jerk.
When they ask for an explanation as to why I won't be a buddy, I am clueless as to how to respond and feel a little guilty for systematically turning people down.
I will be polite to other players, but we simply can't be friends. After all, these are strangers I'm dealing with.
:D looks like you need to add a couple people. You do bring up a point though. How can you be friends with someone you don't even know?
The answer is simply because friendships aren't based on looks or anything like that. A social game like Wizard101 and Pirate101 aren't centered around being a soloist and completing everything alone. A good friend that you otherwise would likely never see in your life (unless it is a freak coincidence at a MMO convention or something XD ) can be a great experience. I remember one friend of mine from Wizard101 from when I first joined the game, I even remember the exact experience of meeting her for the first time. She was more then just a high level wizard, overtime we became the best of friends but she eventually left the game for good :(

Despite the heartbreaking moment when she left, I can never forget her and she will always have a special place in my memory .

Human beings were never meant to be alone, we all need a friend to cheer us up and laugh along side with.

Hero
Sep 19, 2013
770
There's no reason you have to friend people or quest with them. Ten bucks says you'll get smacked around in dungeons like Trial of the Spheres, but that's your choice.

Defender
Mar 30, 2010
175
Hey, it's your wizard. It's your game experience, I don't think it's rude or selfish or anything. If you want to solo quests and not talk to other players that is your right to do so. And anyone telling you you can't needs to mind their own business, lol. Just block friend requests and do your thing.

I understand what you mean about not knowing the people in real life. I find this "dating" thing the kids are doing now quite weird. They act like the game is real life and I think it's really sad. It's those types of people I stay away from usually. "I need a girl/boy", is one of the quotes that usually has my guard up.

I feel like saying, "No child, what you need is a reality check," lol. I of course don't say that, but I guess I should because it's true.

Some people do not know the difference. So if you feel like not talking to people, by all means, don't.

Don't feel guilty about it either. There are LOTS of very nice people that play this game, there's a lof that are full of themselves and there's a few creepers too. Just like in any game.

Not all the players are awful people though, just keep that in mind.

Adherent
Feb 07, 2011
2931
ViciousVenomousVix... on Mar 22, 2014 wrote:
Hey, it's your wizard. It's your game experience, I don't think it's rude or selfish or anything. If you want to solo quests and not talk to other players that is your right to do so. And anyone telling you you can't needs to mind their own business, lol. Just block friend requests and do your thing.

I understand what you mean about not knowing the people in real life. I find this "dating" thing the kids are doing now quite weird. They act like the game is real life and I think it's really sad. It's those types of people I stay away from usually. "I need a girl/boy", is one of the quotes that usually has my guard up.

I feel like saying, "No child, what you need is a reality check," lol. I of course don't say that, but I guess I should because it's true.

Some people do not know the difference. So if you feel like not talking to people, by all means, don't.

Don't feel guilty about it either. There are LOTS of very nice people that play this game, there's a lof that are full of themselves and there's a few creepers too. Just like in any game.

Not all the players are awful people though, just keep that in mind.
lol, i so agree with this.

i've had people ask me to be their girl (or boy, depending on which of my wizards they're talking to); i find it super-creepy and will usually respond to the question with, "i'm flattered, but i am taken irl and probably too old for you".

(that gets most of them off my case, but one guy followed that by saying something very inappropriate. so i changed realms and reported him)

-

to the op: as you level up, you will find that a lot of instances will require that you have a group. as much as i like to solo, and the team up feature is convenient for when i don't, i would much rather do a long and annoying dungeon with those wizards who have become my friends both in and out of game, for a few reasons:

1) i can count on them to tough it out and not leave halfway through;
2) i am familiar with their play-styles and will adjust my deck accordingly;
3) we have a lot of fun

i would start small; head over to one of the fansites and get to know a couple of adult players (since your post makes me want to assume that you are one); that way, you can solo to your heart's content, but still have people to count on if/when you need them. and, who knows, you may become friends.

that all said, i agree with vvv. that it's your gaming experience and you are not required to be friends with anyone you don't want to be.

-v.

Survivor
Jan 06, 2014
45
Mankind wasn't meant to be alone and so wasn't your Wizard. You will need a friend in the game cause if you don't ... you may just snap one day and quit cause of monsters trolling. I have friends so when thats happen, I can go to one of them and take a breather. It's always good to have a friend but if you feel uncomfortable, that's okay. Just add people who you find instersting.
What I do is, that I star people that I like to know and have people with blank stars just because they felt like adding me. They will go away when I need room for another friend so I add them just the heck for it. Plus, you may never know what friends can bring you. Surprises are around every corner so just try it, It may make that spark and you will be able to become friend's. Let that barrier down and try to be friends with one.
This will not only improve your social relationships but help you as improve your relation with other people you know in real life so get out there, do something new, and add someone!

Survivor
Feb 24, 2014
20
i have one issue with friends in the game...

one time i was doing an instance quest for the first time... i prefer to take it slow and read the story...

well... i was set to visible to my friends list... and unannounced, one of the people on my friends list ported to me... and then started just zooming through the quest, not even waiting for me to catch up to where he was... i asked him to wait... he didn't even reply...

i 'solved' this by de-friending him and porting out of the instance... and then started it over from scratch later...

there should be various settings for a visible friends list... such as visible-but-disallow-porting-to-me setting... especially when in an instance...

Adherent
Mar 12, 2010
2721
Peteroid69 on Mar 24, 2014 wrote:
i have one issue with friends in the game...

one time i was doing an instance quest for the first time... i prefer to take it slow and read the story...

well... i was set to visible to my friends list... and unannounced, one of the people on my friends list ported to me... and then started just zooming through the quest, not even waiting for me to catch up to where he was... i asked him to wait... he didn't even reply...

i 'solved' this by de-friending him and porting out of the instance... and then started it over from scratch later...

there should be various settings for a visible friends list... such as visible-but-disallow-porting-to-me setting... especially when in an instance...
There Is an option already in the game.

Press "esc" to see your options.
Click on the "gold lock" tab at the top of the screen (third tab from the right).
Change your setting for "allow friends to teleport" to indicate "no".
Then click OK at the bottom of the page to save the change.

You are still visible to your friends, but they cannot teleport to you.

Explorer
May 11, 2012
91
Elsieangelcake on Mar 18, 2014 wrote:
I am a solo player who has no friends. I blocked all friend requests and group invites.
It just feels weird to hang with people who I don't know in real life, and when fellow wizards ask me to friend/hatch/quest with them, I don't know how to say no without coming off as an unfriendly jerk.
When they ask for an explanation as to why I won't be a buddy, I am clueless as to how to respond and feel a little guilty for systematically turning people down.
I will be polite to other players, but we simply can't be friends. After all, these are strangers I'm dealing with.
You are not anti-social. You have every right to play the game on your own if you want to. Everybody is different. I too like to solo the game, although I do admit that I may be getting rid of my account soon, because it is just getting impossible to proceed on my own, and the few people that I had gotten close to in the game that I had been questing with ended up quitting the game, because it just got too difficult and time consuming for something that was supposed to be fun.

I know this is a massive multi-player game, and that there are other games out there for people to play by themselves, but they don't appeal to me. I LIKE Wizard101. I like wizards, dragons, magic, fantasy, and all that kind of stuff. I don't want to spend my game time playing solo type games like Sudoku, etc. I think there is room in the Spiral for all kinds of players.

Autumn FairyDreamer Level 79