Welcome to the Wizard101 Message Boards


Player Guide
Fansites
News
Game Updates
Help

Follow important game updates on Twitter @Wizard101 and @KI_Alerts, and Facebook!

For all account questions and concerns, contact Customer Support.

By posting on the Wizard101 Message Boards you agree to the Code of Conduct.

Why I no longer accept friend requests

AuthorMessage
Champion
Sep 01, 2009
491
In lieu of changing all my gear, un-equipping my mount, and removing my pet every time I go to the Commons, later today, when I log back into the game, I will be disabling my ability to accept friends. The reason for this is the reason I have heard from many other people: it seems the only reason many players ask to friend another player is to request-and in many cases, demand-gifts.

I understand. Not everyone has crowns, not everyone has a job or a way to make money to purchase crowns. This does not, however, give non-crowns players the right to expect gifts from complete strangers. I gift friends if they need a hatching elixir, and if I have the crowns to give one. During the Halloween and Yuletide celebrations, I randomly friend lower level players, and gift them holiday card packs. And that's it. I am not going to gift someone a house, or a mount, or gear, or 10 card packs, and becoming hostile and/or abusive is a sure fire way to get removed and ignored.

As an adult who sometimes has the money for crowns, it bothers me to see players who seem to think my crowns somehow belong to them. They don't. Those are mine, and it is up to me to decide how to use them. And if I choose not to gift strangers thousands of crowns worth of gear, pets, cards, or homes, those strangers do not have the right to attack me, or anyone else on my account.

You don't need crowns to buy most things in the game. Homes and mounts can be purchased with gold, pets drop from bosses, as does quite a bit of gear. Even seeds drop from bosses, or can be purchased from vendors in almost every world.

It makes me more than a little sad that I have been forced to change my privacy settings. I enjoy helping people, and limiting my ability to do so causes me no small measure of consternation. But at this point, after experiencing what I, and others on my account, have experienced, I'm not sure I have a choice.

Delver
Jul 05, 2014
227
I'm sorry that a lot of your "friends" are begging for gear/mounts/etc. You're SO right though. It's your money, your crowns, your choice.

Archon
Feb 07, 2011
3175
Snee432 on Jul 23, 2015 wrote:
In lieu of changing all my gear, un-equipping my mount, and removing my pet every time I go to the Commons, later today, when I log back into the game, I will be disabling my ability to accept friends. The reason for this is the reason I have heard from many other people: it seems the only reason many players ask to friend another player is to request-and in many cases, demand-gifts.

I understand. Not everyone has crowns, not everyone has a job or a way to make money to purchase crowns. This does not, however, give non-crowns players the right to expect gifts from complete strangers. I gift friends if they need a hatching elixir, and if I have the crowns to give one. During the Halloween and Yuletide celebrations, I randomly friend lower level players, and gift them holiday card packs. And that's it. I am not going to gift someone a house, or a mount, or gear, or 10 card packs, and becoming hostile and/or abusive is a sure fire way to get removed and ignored.

As an adult who sometimes has the money for crowns, it bothers me to see players who seem to think my crowns somehow belong to them. They don't. Those are mine, and it is up to me to decide how to use them. And if I choose not to gift strangers thousands of crowns worth of gear, pets, cards, or homes, those strangers do not have the right to attack me, or anyone else on my account.

You don't need crowns to buy most things in the game. Homes and mounts can be purchased with gold, pets drop from bosses, as does quite a bit of gear. Even seeds drop from bosses, or can be purchased from vendors in almost every world.

It makes me more than a little sad that I have been forced to change my privacy settings. I enjoy helping people, and limiting my ability to do so causes me no small measure of consternation. But at this point, after experiencing what I, and others on my account, have experienced, I'm not sure I have a choice.
again, i am with you.

i have disabled friend requests, to avoid getting spammed with them, for the reasons you mentioned. it doesn't stop the begging but, if people ask, i tell them 1) that i don't have crowns, or 2) no way, jose. as funwizzygirl said: my crowns, my rules.

still, i like sending my friends gifts for their birthdays or holidays. in the past, i have also gifted random people if s/he has done something nice for someone or tried to make the game a better place.

for example:

1) last year, i spotted a crowd in the shopping district on my way to the bazaar. worried that someone was trying to scam newbies out of their treasure cards, i stuck around... only to see two little wizards offering virtual hugs and cupcakes to all who passed!

i stopped to chat with them and added them both as friends; once i had left the area, i gifted them a pack each. they both thanked me, and i told them not to worry~ they deserved it, for making the spiral a nicer place.

2) a few months ago, my magus pyro was involved in a long pvp battle with a grandmaster diviner. it was a close match and, when it finally ended, my opponent didn't gloat~ instead, she was impressed and complimented my skill; when i thanked her, she was surprised that i wasn't bothered by the loss, and we talked a bit abou the arena's collective attitude problem.

her friend in the audience was pretty nice too, and she liked my pet raptor a lot. so i added both of them and met up with them outside of the arena... on my exalted sorcerer. i added them again, and offered to hatch my raptor with the friend, who thanked me but said that she didn't have a hatching slot available. so i gifted her an elixir to reset her timer and hatched with her.

(i also hatched with my opponent, since she was storm and i have a pretty sweet rain beetle... she kept saying, "you're so nice it's scaring me", but she got used to it, lol.)

kindness is contagious, folks~ spread it like the plague!

-von

Defender
Aug 11, 2013
113
my gripe about "friend requests"? is a slighty different from yours. I get tired of people, random people who don't even talk to me at all first..sending me a friend requests and when I decline it the first time. spam me with it repeatedly. My fellow wizards? If I don't accept it the first time you send it to me..I'm not going to accept it the 2nd 3rd 4th 5th or however many times you send it to me. Stop it. It's disrespectful, irritating as all get out and detracts from my enjoyment of my game time. Don't be a donkey's hind end. if you need help simply ask. Depending on what you need help with and what I'm doing. I might just help you. If asking people doesn't work, go to the bulletin board in olde town. there's always people around. Even max levels like me, who just are in a helping giving mood to get you through your particular trial or dungeon.

Connor. Exalted Thaumaturge.

Mastermind
Mar 13, 2010
328
I never accept friend requests from random, only people I've ended up in Team Up with or who ate friends of friends who I've helped/helped me.

On the rare occasion that I accept a random or one of these "friends" asks me for something, I politely decline to gift and if asked why say "Crowns are real money. I don't know you well enough to spend real money on you." If they persist, that's what "Ignore" is for.

Geographer
Dec 14, 2009
916
Enough is enough. This debacle has been allowed to go on for far too long, and it is way beyond the need for addressing it. I am not sure if everyone is familiar with the CoC/ToS, so I am going to list these two and expand on them: "(12) “stalk,” “phish,” abuse or harass another user, or attempt to do any of the foregoing; or (13) engage in any other conduct that restricts or inhibits anyone’s use or enjoyment of the Site". That sums it up pretty well. By KI's own rules, beggars are certainly guilty of harassment at the very least, and in some cases abuse. I would think an overwhelming majority would also agree that this restricts/ inhibits use/enjoyment of the game. KI you need to enforce your own rules, and do something about this, as it has been ignored for far too long. How sad that this has been posted numerous times, and yet nothing has been done. The solution is really simple too. Lets use what I call the "Three strikes of baseball" enforcement method:

1) someone begs you to be gifted- you report them- they are banned for 3 days from game

2) same scenario, same person again- they are banned 30 days from game

3) same scenario, same person again- they are banned from wizard101

This would quickly and effectively end begging in Wizard101, and would make the spiral a much happier place. So how about it KI? Do everyone a favor, and enforce the rules please.

Astrologist
Dec 26, 2013
1124
Intrepidatius on Jul 31, 2015 wrote:
Enough is enough. This debacle has been allowed to go on for far too long, and it is way beyond the need for addressing it. I am not sure if everyone is familiar with the CoC/ToS, so I am going to list these two and expand on them: "(12) “stalk,” “phish,” abuse or harass another user, or attempt to do any of the foregoing; or (13) engage in any other conduct that restricts or inhibits anyone’s use or enjoyment of the Site". That sums it up pretty well. By KI's own rules, beggars are certainly guilty of harassment at the very least, and in some cases abuse. I would think an overwhelming majority would also agree that this restricts/ inhibits use/enjoyment of the game. KI you need to enforce your own rules, and do something about this, as it has been ignored for far too long. How sad that this has been posted numerous times, and yet nothing has been done. The solution is really simple too. Lets use what I call the "Three strikes of baseball" enforcement method:

1) someone begs you to be gifted- you report them- they are banned for 3 days from game

2) same scenario, same person again- they are banned 30 days from game

3) same scenario, same person again- they are banned from wizard101

This would quickly and effectively end begging in Wizard101, and would make the spiral a much happier place. So how about it KI? Do everyone a favor, and enforce the rules please.
Agree, agree and agree!

My standard procedure is:
1) I accept any and all initial friend requests. I approach the game as I do my life... I treat everyone with cautious respect until they do something to lose it.
2) If someone's first action as my new "friend" is to ask me any Crown related question...off the list they go. My Crowns status is no one's business but my own.
3) I keep a list of names of people who have "violated" my rules. There have been several who have tried re-friending me after I've deleted them from my list. I have no qualms about telling them to get lost.

Fellow wizards, be forewarned... more and more creative begging has been occurring. You will get promises of payback in future Crown goods, TCs or questing assistance. Some of these promises might be sincere but don't count on it. If a deal sounds too good to be true then it probably is. Chances are that the promise maker will disappear in a puff of "port smoke" as soon as you give them what they want.

Be alert, be vigilant, but most of all have fun with it. With a little ingenuity you can turn these situations into entertaining episodes that can be very satisfying in a devious sort of way.

Defender
Apr 10, 2012
114
Snee432: It is sad that you feel you need to do this. I personally refuse to let others in the game have that much control over me that I have to change what I am wearing and equip all my gear. However I respect what you need to do to make it more comfortable for yourself. I have had my friends request turned off for a very long time, so that I do understand.

This use to be a huge problem for me as well. I remember the days when I was trying to make some friends for questing with and would end up with beggers or people that demanded my time and wouldn't respect mind or help me with quests I needed done. Most of the time I am questing with people I know in person that enjoy playing the game with me. If we encounter others and they ask for help, we normally will give it, but that is about it. If I am in the commons and people beg me for stuff, I ingore them and they will go elsewhere to bug others. If they get on my nerves, I go to a different realm or elsewhere in the game.

TheCurlyWolf: Yes, this is one of my pet peeves when I use to have friends request on. I would be doing something in my backpack and get the friend request pop up in front of me. I decline it and they do it again and again. Like that is going to change my mind. I don't worry about it anymore with friend request turned off.

Intrepidatius: I so understand your frustration and agree with it being very annoying with all the beggers and wish there was something that could be done to stop it but you are going to encounter this in other games as well in the real world and you have to deal with it. Ignoring them is the best thing I can suggest. Don't even tell them no. If you do not acknowlegde them, they will get bored with getting not respond and go to someone else to bug. Or you can go to a different realm or area in the game. I think having people reporting every person that begs/asks for something would be seriously abused and would put more work on the KI support.

Geographer
Dec 14, 2009
916
TucsonWizard- "Be alert, be vigilant, but most of all have fun with it. With a little ingenuity you can turn these situations into entertaining episodes that can be very satisfying in a devious sort of way."

I am guilty (notorious) for that as well. A classic example would be to find a crowded commons to go to. Find a good friend you wish to have fun (torment) with, and have them port to you. When they arrive, loudly thank them for "gifting" you whatever item you can think of, and step back, and watch the fun commence. They will be swarmed by beggars, like sharks in a feeding frenzy.

Defender
Mar 31, 2014
125
I only accepts friends same level or higher (i'm 75 so anything from 60 to 100 is ok), anything lower is suspicion (either they just want me to help them over and over) or if super lower like lvl 1-10 they just want gifts or something weird.

But friends can be very helpful and fun, like in ultra dungeons to gather people to join you... there was a time where I had disabled this because I was too bored, but now I hit Remove friend as easily as adding them, e.g. just recently someone lvl 2 asked me to give him my other wizard, you just hit Remove, so I'm saying reconsider disabling altogether because friends can be useful and fun, and don't bother hitting Remove or even Report have fun doing it!!

Defender
Jun 02, 2013
164
Due to other popular MMO titles I have played, I take a more negative approach to acquiring new "Friends" . My settings are set to no friend/group invites most times. While traveling through the Commons, or other low level areas, any attempted Friending, or Grouping is, usually, just a plea to carry someone through content, or an area that they aren't eligible for.

I use the "Team Up" feature in Wizard101 to temporarily group with strangers, if I cannot dispatch my enemies on my own, or level Alt wizards.

I would love to find more like-minded players to enjoy my game time with, but I have had little to no success so far.

Best of luck to you,

Lincoln Realm
Gabriel 100
Michael 88 and climbing

Astrologist
Dec 26, 2013
1124
Intrepidatius on Aug 1, 2015 wrote:
TucsonWizard- "Be alert, be vigilant, but most of all have fun with it. With a little ingenuity you can turn these situations into entertaining episodes that can be very satisfying in a devious sort of way."

I am guilty (notorious) for that as well. A classic example would be to find a crowded commons to go to. Find a good friend you wish to have fun (torment) with, and have them port to you. When they arrive, loudly thank them for "gifting" you whatever item you can think of, and step back, and watch the fun commence. They will be swarmed by beggars, like sharks in a feeding frenzy.
I like the way you think... but why limit it to the people you know?! When you see Luke Skywalker or Taylor Swift continuously pestering everyone in the Commons area for a gift you can thank them for their generous gift to you and then sit back and watch the hilarity ensue.

Explorer
Jul 20, 2014
63
The sad thing about this is that no one should have to modify the way they play. I have seen this problem brought up time after time, and nothing has ever been done to address it. I don't think that asking K.I. to deal with this problem, is asking too much. Every member here pays for an enjoyable game experience, and dealing with those would disrupt that fun should be a priority. No one here should have to alter their gameplay due to this. Please listen K.I.

Archon
Feb 07, 2011
3175
TucsonWizard on Aug 3, 2015 wrote:
I like the way you think... but why limit it to the people you know?! When you see Luke Skywalker or Taylor Swift continuously pestering everyone in the Commons area for a gift you can thank them for their generous gift to you and then sit back and watch the hilarity ensue.
my best in-game friend and i did this once.

it was around v-day and, even though we both had our own crowns, we gifted each other some themed items (because, in character, her necromancer and my diviner have an odd relationship that puts the "fun" in dysfunction... lol, long story). we kept loudly thanking each other and having these dramatic conversations in-character, waited until people swarmed us, and ported out.

(it was awesome)



generally speaking, i keep friend requests off and only open them for people who:

1) are useful~ if you're the only one on my team who didn't abandon me in the middle of a posterior-kicking from lame von lame in castle dreadmore, even after we've died 6 times each, you're getting a gold star on my buddy list;

2) are really nice and helpful. at level 100, these people are few and far between. but, if i find one, you can bet that s/he is going on my favourites list;

3) people i've met on these boards, most of whom are in category #2 as well (because you guys rock! well, most of you... lol).

i don't typically have any issues. but, if someone asks me to add them, it depends on my mood:

1) if i add you and you start asking for gifts or spamming help requests, you will be removed immediately. no questions asked.

2) if i'm not in the mood for company/helping someone/just blowing off steam after a long and crappy day at work, i just tell people that i only add people i know irl (which isn't a complete lie~ it just means that i have priorities and you're not one of them).

-von

Mastermind
Mar 13, 2010
328
I kind of understand the OP's options - Unequip or No Friends. . .

Up until very, very recently, I didn't have a single respectable pet on three Exalted, a Promethean and a Grandmaster.

A great friend took pity on me and created a pet perfect for my play tyle, then hatched with me. By some miracle, or maybe the karma-banked luck of five years, it is seriously impressive and perfect for me on third hatch.

The pet is a rare one, with an enviable pedigree. At Mega, it could have manifested three different super-desireable talents, even to those who don't play like I do. It got the most desirable, after already having the four "Must Haves."

I don't equip it until I'm on a sigil, because running from the Commons to the Bazaar, I once counted seven requests to hatch from random people. I'm an adult, I'm capable of just ignoring, Ignoring (officially via software), or saying No.

It doesn't make it any less annoying, though.

Survivor
Sep 07, 2014
39
Dr Von on Aug 3, 2015 wrote:
my best in-game friend and i did this once.

it was around v-day and, even though we both had our own crowns, we gifted each other some themed items (because, in character, her necromancer and my diviner have an odd relationship that puts the "fun" in dysfunction... lol, long story). we kept loudly thanking each other and having these dramatic conversations in-character, waited until people swarmed us, and ported out.

(it was awesome)



generally speaking, i keep friend requests off and only open them for people who:

1) are useful~ if you're the only one on my team who didn't abandon me in the middle of a posterior-kicking from lame von lame in castle dreadmore, even after we've died 6 times each, you're getting a gold star on my buddy list;

2) are really nice and helpful. at level 100, these people are few and far between. but, if i find one, you can bet that s/he is going on my favourites list;

3) people i've met on these boards, most of whom are in category #2 as well (because you guys rock! well, most of you... lol).

i don't typically have any issues. but, if someone asks me to add them, it depends on my mood:

1) if i add you and you start asking for gifts or spamming help requests, you will be removed immediately. no questions asked.

2) if i'm not in the mood for company/helping someone/just blowing off steam after a long and crappy day at work, i just tell people that i only add people i know irl (which isn't a complete lie~ it just means that i have priorities and you're not one of them).

-von
Wow I've seen you like on almost every topic lol (and yes omg lame von lame XD)

I totally know how you feel; I was in Waterworks (level 60 I think) and I had my 'friend' help me out in this because I felt like I couldn't defeat Sylvester Annoying on my own :P

We were in the middle of a battle, when suddenly, he deletes me as my friend and flees for no good reason! Thank goodness I had 2 good hours of time trying to defeat Sylvester with a bunch of healing treasure cards and dispels D:

Just survive, Doc. Survive :P

~

All that you annoyed people have to do if there are beggars are these steps:

1) Put on all of the very rare/crown items you have.
2) Block friend requests.
3) Teleport to the commons.
4) Let 'dem haters surround you.
5) Let them ask you for crowns/items from the crown shop/help/etc.
6) Be like "sorry, these are mine, what did you do to deserve it?"
7) Final important step: go up to the person's face, and do the funky or bee dance XD

- Kelly

Survivor
Jan 07, 2013
43
One simple way to go about is if a restriction is made to gifting, simple as that.
Example A:
Friend Jacob I just met wants me to gift him, and he seems cool so I have to wait 1 month to decide whether I want to gift him or not, due to a 1-month gifting restriction.

Example B:
Friend Jack i've known for years now, and has been a great, fun friend, so I gift him anything I want since i've added him for the longest memory can tell.

Something just as simple as that can potentially save us from being bombarded with gifting requests. Or simply put a new filter like:
Players under the level of 20 cannot say the words: "send", "gift", "buy me a", etc.....

Eric StormHunter100
Christo BlueLeaf 89
Eric MythHunter 36

Survivor
Dec 25, 2012
3