Welcome to the Wizard101 Message Boards


Player Guide
Fansites
News
Game Updates
Help

Follow important game updates on Twitter @Wizard101 and @KI_Alerts, and Facebook!

For all account questions and concerns, contact Customer Support.

By posting on the Wizard101 Message Boards you agree to the Code of Conduct.

Not sure how to deal with this problem

1
AuthorMessage
Survivor
Nov 01, 2010
40
ok so everytime i'm in the Wizard City Commons for more than 5 seconds i see text that says, "i need a girl" or "i need a guy." as a parent, i hope this does not mean what i think it means. are we supposed to be reporting these people? i can maybe understand if these people are age 15, but i'm thinking they are like 45 years old. do i have to say anything more? i'd appreciate some official wording on this as i have searched this site and have not found any answers. thank you.

Mastermind
Jun 23, 2010
345
I need a boy/girl are not reportable. It is ever so annoying though.

Megan

Mastermind
Sep 11, 2010
369
It's young people using it as a method of finding online boy/girlfriends, really. I don't understand the reasoning behind it, but I find it is annoying as well. I commonly inform people that Wizard101 isn't a dating, as I don't think it's an issue serious enough to bother Mr. Lincoln and his helpers with (unless the person is spamming or being obnoxious in other ways).

However, I don't know if there's any official policy on this matter - I would, though, be inclined to believe that it would be quite frowned upon...

Hero
Jul 27, 2009
755
it their way of saying i am Kool.
but they dont realize it makes them look like little kids
trying to play grown up
and i often will say that ingame ..

oh look
some one who want a boy/girl
thinks it make them look kool
when it makes them look silly!

it stops them for a little while anyway


Defender
Feb 23, 2010
163
Yeah, that's something younger players do. I've never seen someone do it who seemed like an adult. Could be wrong, but it would be pretty much pointless given the inability to check players' personal information and all of the blocks KI has put into chat. If parents have their kids on limited chat they'd have to jump through countless hoops to give out personal info, and even then I don't know how much would get through. I've had more than one young female wizard ask me that question, and I humorously explain to them that I'm too old for them. While it seems quite unnecessary to me, I don't think they're really looking for an online girl/boy friend as much as they're trying to create what is in their mind a more complete fantasy character, one with a family, friends, etc. I say that because I've also seen them refer to certain wizards as their brother, sister, father, or mother. In some cases these are real family members who play the game, but in many cases these are pretend relationships that they've come up with to generate their own in game story. I've also seen players put together their own clans like you'd find in other games. So, yeah it seems strange to many of us, and it can be annoying when they just keep throwing those things out randomly, but I don't think it's the kind of problem you're worried about.

Survivor
Feb 19, 2011
21
it means exactly what you think it means...and I dont think you should feel ashamed to report it each and every time you see it. The thing makes me sick personally. it seems like you cant to anything on the internet anymore without dealing with spam advertisements for cyber lust.

Explorer
Jan 27, 2009
50
I saw a girl in the Commons the other day repeatedly saying "I NEED A HOT EMO BOY OLDER THAN ME". As a father (and a grandfather) this bothered me on many levels, especially since KI does not consider this dangerous behavior reportable!

Mastermind
Jun 23, 2010
345
fiveos wrote:
it means exactly what you think it means...and I dont think you should feel ashamed to report it each and every time you see it. The thing makes me sick personally. it seems like you cant to anything on the internet anymore without dealing with spam advertisements for cyber lust.


I would strongly recommend NOT doing this. This is a false report and can get you in serious trouble. The best thing you can do is simply ignore it.

The FAQ at the top of this page lists out some examples of reportable and not reportable things.

Megan

Hero
Jan 24, 2010
705
These are young people, mostly tweens, who are looking for people with whom to quest. They are advertising that they want a GAME partner, not a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I know this because I have a child who plays this game, and who does occasionally lurk around the Commons in search of a questing partner. As a 10 year old, he has no idea that some adults might think he is making inappropriate queries. The phrase "I need a girl/boy" is purely innocent in my son's situation, and I really believe that most of the kids in and about the Great Spiral are similar to him.

I don't think there's the need for such a kerfluffle.

Iridian, Scarlet, Moira, Rowan, wizarding mom of Hunter Skullthief

Historian
May 01, 2010
665
stanklepoot wrote:
Yeah, that's something younger players do. I've never seen someone do it who seemed like an adult. Could be wrong, but it would be pretty much pointless given the inability to check players' personal information and all of the blocks KI has put into chat. If parents have their kids on limited chat they'd have to jump through countless hoops to give out personal info, and even then I don't know how much would get through. I've had more than one young female wizard ask me that question, and I humorously explain to them that I'm too old for them. While it seems quite unnecessary to me, I don't think they're really looking for an online girl/boy friend as much as they're trying to create what is in their mind a more complete fantasy character, one with a family, friends, etc. I say that because I've also seen them refer to certain wizards as their brother, sister, father, or mother. In some cases these are real family members who play the game, but in many cases these are pretend relationships that they've come up with to generate their own in game story. I've also seen players put together their own clans like you'd find in other games. So, yeah it seems strange to many of us, and it can be annoying when they just keep throwing those things out randomly, but I don't think it's the kind of problem you're worried about.


um its not really just younger players (ever think of the like 40+ year olds who never had a girlfriend irl so they take in out in-game?) but anyway i have seen people with open chat asking that (anybody would assume open chat people are 18+ right?) but anyway, you know how its usually in the commons? i have seen that even in cl! btw anyone ever see an in-game proposal? so yea it is REALLY annoying.

Defender
Feb 23, 2010
163
slammer111 wrote:
stanklepoot wrote:
Yeah, that's something younger players do. I've never seen someone do it who seemed like an adult. Could be wrong, but it would be pretty much pointless given the inability to check players' personal information and all of the blocks KI has put into chat. If parents have their kids on limited chat they'd have to jump through countless hoops to give out personal info, and even then I don't know how much would get through. I've had more than one young female wizard ask me that question, and I humorously explain to them that I'm too old for them. While it seems quite unnecessary to me, I don't think they're really looking for an online girl/boy friend as much as they're trying to create what is in their mind a more complete fantasy character, one with a family, friends, etc. I say that because I've also seen them refer to certain wizards as their brother, sister, father, or mother. In some cases these are real family members who play the game, but in many cases these are pretend relationships that they've come up with to generate their own in game story. I've also seen players put together their own clans like you'd find in other games. So, yeah it seems strange to many of us, and it can be annoying when they just keep throwing those things out randomly, but I don't think it's the kind of problem you're worried about.


um its not really just younger players (ever think of the like 40+ year olds who never had a girlfriend irl so they take in out in-game?) but anyway i have seen people with open chat asking that (anybody would assume open chat people are 18+ right?) but anyway, you know how its usually in the commons? i have seen that even in cl! btw anyone ever see an in-game proposal? so yea it is REALLY annoying.


Actually, I don't just assume anyone with open chat is 18+. I've seen too many people who aren't adults have open chat. Some parents simply don't pay that much attention to a game or don't know any better. There's also the possibility that their kid has shown them how hard it is to communicate relevant game info without open chat, and the parent figures their kid is old and smart enough not to do something really stupid like give away real world personal info to a stranger. Then again, I've seen adults that didn't have open chat on simply because they didn't know how to unlock it until I or another player told them how. Either way, I certainly don't make any assumptions based on open chat.

As for the 40 yr old comment, I think maybe you've watched one too many Judd Apatow movies. Yeah, there are people out there with poor social lives, but adults don't come to games like this with that in mind...unless there's something much more inappropriate than that going on with them. There are far too many other places online where such a person could go with both greater odds of success and lesser odds of ending up on a list that could involve an embarrassing deep background check by various law enforcement and volunteer groups.

Explorer
Jan 27, 2009
50
queenlybluebean wrote:
These are young people, mostly tweens, who are looking for people with whom to quest. They are advertising that they want a GAME partner, not a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I know this because I have a child who plays this game, and who does occasionally lurk around the Commons in search of a questing partner. As a 10 year old, he has no idea that some adults might think he is making inappropriate queries. The phrase "I need a girl/boy" is purely innocent in my son's situation, and I really believe that most of the kids in and about the Great Spiral are similar to him.

I don't think there's the need for such a kerfluffle.



Then you are as niave as you want to believe your son to be. If they were looking for a questing partner, then why would they specify gender, especially the opposite gender? Ma'am, you need to open your eyes and do a better job of monitoring your son's online activity. The last thing he needs in today's society is a parent with the attitude of "my child wouldn't do that". Blind trust died in the 1960s.

Mastermind
Jun 23, 2010
345
MarcBladebreaker wrote:
queenlybluebean wrote:
These are young people, mostly tweens, who are looking for people with whom to quest. They are advertising that they want a GAME partner, not a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I know this because I have a child who plays this game, and who does occasionally lurk around the Commons in search of a questing partner. As a 10 year old, he has no idea that some adults might think he is making inappropriate queries. The phrase "I need a girl/boy" is purely innocent in my son's situation, and I really believe that most of the kids in and about the Great Spiral are similar to him.

I don't think there's the need for such a kerfluffle.



Then you are as naive as you want to believe your son to be. If they were looking for a questing partner, then why would they specify gender, especially the opposite gender? Ma'am, you need to open your eyes and do a better job of monitoring your son's online activity. The last thing he needs in today's society is a parent with the attitude of "my child wouldn't do that". Blind trust died in the 1960s.


I have no doubt some kids do need want a questing partner. I have to agree with Marc. I don't understand asking for a girl or boy for that. But, I also know some do "date" in game. My son's friend has two "girlfriends" in game.

I just monitor what people are doing and saying. If they are inappropriate I do report them. I don't report I want a girl/boy.

Megan-formerly Firefan02

Historian
May 01, 2010
665
stanklepoot wrote:
slammer111 wrote:
stanklepoot wrote:
Yeah, that's something younger players do. I've never seen someone do it who seemed like an adult. Could be wrong, but it would be pretty much pointless given the inability to check players' personal information and all of the blocks KI has put into chat. If parents have their kids on limited chat they'd have to jump through countless hoops to give out personal info, and even then I don't know how much would get through. I've had more than one young female wizard ask me that question, and I humorously explain to them that I'm too old for them. While it seems quite unnecessary to me, I don't think they're really looking for an online girl/boy friend as much as they're trying to create what is in their mind a more complete fantasy character, one with a family, friends, etc. I say that because I've also seen them refer to certain wizards as their brother, sister, father, or mother. In some cases these are real family members who play the game, but in many cases these are pretend relationships that they've come up with to generate their own in game story. I've also seen players put together their own clans like you'd find in other games. So, yeah it seems strange to many of us, and it can be annoying when they just keep throwing those things out randomly, but I don't think it's the kind of problem you're worried about.


um its not really just younger players (ever think of the like 40+ year olds who never had a girlfriend irl so they take in out in-game?) but anyway i have seen people with open chat asking that (anybody would assume open chat people are 18+ right?) but anyway, you know how its usually in the commons? i have seen that even in cl! btw anyone ever see an in-game proposal? so yea it is REALLY annoying.


Actually, I don't just assume anyone with open chat is 18+. I've seen too many people who aren't adults have open chat. Some parents simply don't pay that much attention to a game or don't know any better. There's also the possibility that their kid has shown them how hard it is to communicate relevant game info without open chat, and the parent figures their kid is old and smart enough not to do something really stupid like give away real world personal info to a stranger. Then again, I've seen adults that didn't have open chat on simply because they didn't know how to unlock it until I or another player told them how. Either way, I certainly don't make any assumptions based on open chat.

As for the 40 yr old comment, I think maybe you've watched one too many Judd Apatow movies. Yeah, there are people out there with poor social lives, but adults don't come to games like this with that in mind...unless there's something much more inappropriate than that going on with them. There are far too many other places online where such a person could go with both greater odds of success and lesser odds of ending up on a list that could involve an embarrassing deep background check by various law enforcement and volunteer groups.


good points, and i dont really assume every single person with open chat is 18+. about the movie thing i have no clue who Judd Apatow is lol, wasnt really literal. either way still annoying

Hero
Jan 24, 2010
705
MarcBladebreaker wrote:
queenlybluebean wrote:
These are young people, mostly tweens, who are looking for people with whom to quest. They are advertising that they want a GAME partner, not a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I know this because I have a child who plays this game, and who does occasionally lurk around the Commons in search of a questing partner. As a 10 year old, he has no idea that some adults might think he is making inappropriate queries. The phrase "I need a girl/boy" is purely innocent in my son's situation, and I really believe that most of the kids in and about the Great Spiral are similar to him.

I don't think there's the need for such a kerfluffle.



Then you are as niave as you want to believe your son to be. If they were looking for a questing partner, then why would they specify gender, especially the opposite gender? Ma'am, you need to open your eyes and do a better job of monitoring your son's online activity. The last thing he needs in today's society is a parent with the attitude of "my child wouldn't do that". Blind trust died in the 1960s.


And I was born right around the time that blind trust died, so I know a thing or two about the world and the people in it. For example, I observe from my ample experience with discussion forums that you are what is commonly known as a "troll". But I'll entertain myself anyway.

Thank you so much for criticizing my parenting skills and my ability to understand children. It's every so good to know that the parenting police are alive and well in-game. And, pray tell, do YOU have children in this game, or are you a child yourself?

Now, to dispel your assumptions:

I play with my son and his friends in-game. We quest together quite often, and I am introduced to everyone on his friend list. Whomever I question gets deleted. See, I actually DO know what my child is doing, because I'm not the blind trusting sort of mother referenced in your insult.

Additionally, I make it my duty to hang about the commons and check out what's going on fairly frequently. I've reported many a poorly behaved wizard for inappropriate comments to others. In over a year of playing this game, I have seen exactly 2 remarks in visible chat that alluded to unseemly activities. I wonder, do you take such responsibility while in-game?

Finally, I have many younger players on my friend lists, and I actually talk to them. I seek to understand what they mean when they say inexplicable things like "I need a girl/boy", because I want to refrain from making unsavory assumptions about them. I prefer to see the actuality, instead of imagining the worst. That's not naive, it's common sense.

It's dismaying to me that some wizards in our community are making inappropriate assumptions about the children in game. Why in the world would someone obsess over the fantasy that children are seeking one another out for any reason other than to try out their gender roles in a secure, non-threatening environment. If you think so poorly of them in-game, I can't imagine what you dream they are doing on the playground IRL.

Iridian, Scarlet, Moira, wizarding mom of Hunter Skullthief and
Dolan Mythcaster


A+ Student
Dec 24, 2009
1895
I have many younger players on my friend lists, and I actually talk to them. I seek to understand what they mean when they say inexplicable things like "I need a girl/boy", because I want to refrain from making unsavory assumptions about them. I prefer to see the actuality, instead of imagining the worst. That's not naive, it's common sense.

But here's the question: if all this person wants is an "innocent" partnership with another wizard for questing purposes ... why are they specifying a wizard of the opposite gender only?

Why is a boy going around shouting "I need a girl?" if all he wants is someone---presumably anyone, according to you---to quest with? Why not advertise for a healer? Or a Sorcerer? Or just anyone of a similar level or working a similar quest? No, this boy is running around shouting for a girl. What does a girl provide that a boy wizard can't......?

You tell me.

I don't know your son, so I won't say your child is up to shenanigans. But I really don't believe that all those people out trolling for "girl friends" and "boy friends" are really just wanting someone to quest with. I am not so trusting or so naive.

It's dismaying to me that some wizards in our community are making inappropriate assumptions about the children in game.

And that's just it. It's not the "children" in the game that I mistrust or make assumptions about. It is the ADULTS protraying themselves as children that I keep a sharp watch for. As a mother who quests with my daughters, I do watch their interactions with others very carefully. I don't care how old someone claims to be in the game, you can't trust or verify that it's true. The safest course is to assume they could be lying and act accordingly.

Just because someone told you they are a kid ... doesn't mean that they're telling you the truth.

Hero
Sep 08, 2008
712
Bookshelvings wrote:
It's young people using it as a method of finding online boy/girlfriends, really. I don't understand the reasoning behind it, but I find it is annoying as well. I commonly inform people that Wizard101 isn't a dating, as I don't think it's an issue serious enough to bother Mr. Lincoln and his helpers with (unless the person is spamming or being obnoxious in other ways).

However, I don't know if there's any official policy on this matter - I would, though, be inclined to believe that it would be quite frowned upon...


Put up anything thats chat (IM, Texting, MMO, games) and you'll have this. Unavoidable in today's world.

Explorer
Jan 27, 2009
50
Thank you, Freshta, I couldn't have said it better myself.

Queenly, I am a 41 year old grandfather who takes his turn at monitoring the Commons. I'm not saying that all the kids we're talking about are gonna end up cybering or running off together, but it is niave beyond measure to think that a kid saying "I need a boy" or "I need a girl" is only looking for a questing partner, much less that they are not opening themselves up as targets to any predator within speech bubble distance. I would rather take the offensive to protect the kids in this game rather than sit back and just hope the worst doesn't happen.

Hero
Jan 24, 2010
705
OK, this is my last post here, because it looks like paranoia and bad attitudes toward children are the operational factors behind your comments. You seem to WANT your worst thoughts to be true. If you believe the game is full of predators, then you should remove yourselves and your children from the environment immediately.

To the original poster, you will have to make your own decision about whether this game is safe for your child or not. In over a year of game play, I have never felt that the Wizard 101 environment posed a threat to me or my children. In fact, I consider this game to be a model for security in terms of how they filter chat, limit interactions, and follow up on reports. Although I don't know any of them personally, I believe that the KI staff really do care about their players, understand their vulnerabilities, and work hard to keep them safe.

Iridian, Scarlet, Moira, wizarding mother, and staunch supporter of KI


Defender
Jan 28, 2010
132
Everyone has made good points on this. I think that queenlybean or what ever her name is. Might be angry because her point was proven wrong. There isn't really no need to fight about it though. There are bad people out in the world. Wether you want to addmit to this or not.

I hang out in the commons sometimes and watch what goes on.
It's not always just asking for a boy or girl a good bit of time they ask for a boy o friend or girl o friend. In both cases I have said you dont need a boy or girl this isn't a dating site. They will tell me i am just an old person who dont know how to have fun. There are even times when an adult (or claimed to be with open chat and all) would tell me thay are just having fun.

Also I have asked them why they are asking that. They would say because they can or They are bored. When i ask them why not do mission they simply state " I dont want to." I have been reported more then a few times for telling them they need to stop. Although I am not worried about it. Have to actully do something wrong before I can get in trouble.

Anyway I think this can be fixed it would take time but it would work. KI should make it a reportable offence. I know that at first there would be allot of reports on it but slowly it would slow down as people realize that it is no longer acceptable. I dont know weather or not KI will consider this. But to better protect our children it would be a great idea.

Survivor
Nov 19, 2010
49
queenlybluebean wrote:
It's dismaying to me that some wizards in our community are making inappropriate assumptions about the children in game. Why in the world would someone obsess over the fantasy that children are seeking one another out for any reason other than to try out their gender roles in a secure, non-threatening environment. If you think so poorly of them in-game, I can't imagine what you dream they are doing on the playground IRL.

Iridian, Scarlet, Moira, wizarding mom of Hunter Skullthief and
Dolan Mythcaster

Shortly after I started playing Wizard101, I was in the Commons and saw a girl running around saying "I need a boy." Out of curiosity, to see if she was looking for a boy for the reason I thought she was, I responded. I asked what she wanted a boy for. Her respons was, "for hex".

Amused I continued to go along with it. I eventually ended up in her dorm. When I ported in, the bed was in the middle of the room so when I popped in, I was in the middle of the bed. In addition to myself, the girl had another boy in the room as well.

She asked if we should start, the other boy responded yes and they began chatting using very creative words to replace the banned words to make it seem like they were doing what you seem to think they wouldn't do.

Now here is the problem you are overlooking. Just because there is a wizard running around saying, "I need a boy," or, "I need a girl," does not mean that person is truly seeking a child of the male or female gender. Given the fact that the age appearence of the wizard avatars in game is pre-teen to early teen, the natural way for everyone to call eachother is boys and girls, because that is what everyone looks like.

What you are really seeing when you see someone looking for a boy or girl is a teenager or adult who is looking to exploit the environment that brings adults and children together. They are attempting to do what you don't believe they are attempting to do.

I have no illusions that children are running around saying, "I need a boy/girl," for the sake of doing something bad. As has already been stated, most people, children included, who are looking for help actually say they need help, ask people if they can help them do a quest or use some other way for actually asking for help.

I think KI should turn off the notification that pops up letting everyone know that they have just been reported. Then, when someone sees a person running around asking for a boy or girl, they can be reported and the admins at KI can follow up after that person finds the boy or girl they are looking for.

If you don't believe what I am saying, then respond to the person looking for a boy or girl. See what exactly it is that they want. Go to their dorm if they ask you. Now I'm sure there are times where it will actually be someone looking for help, but I would bet most of the time it is someone looking for something else.

Survivor
Feb 19, 2011
21
concerning the disagreement over whether the intentions are innocent or not...
It should be ovious that some of them are not. For example I was approached by one of these 'I need a guy'spammers who continued asking of i wanted to 'luv' them and had indentical named characters with identical clothing. When i first heard people say this stuff i inquired about what they would do if they found their guy and i had many responses that didnt seem innocent at all.

I wouldn't assume that NOBODY is asking this question innocently and if those people get reported than imo thats too bad but that is what some appeal would be for. Seriously the question itself is so blatantly solicitation that is should be reportable. Just have common sense about it.

Defender
Feb 23, 2010
163
slammer111 wrote:
stanklepoot wrote:
slammer111 wrote:
stanklepoot wrote:
Yeah, that's something younger players do. I've never seen someone do it who seemed like an adult. Could be wrong, but it would be pretty much pointless given the inability to check players' personal information and all of the blocks KI has put into chat. If parents have their kids on limited chat they'd have to jump through countless hoops to give out personal info, and even then I don't know how much would get through. I've had more than one young female wizard ask me that question, and I humorously explain to them that I'm too old for them. While it seems quite unnecessary to me, I don't think they're really looking for an online girl/boy friend as much as they're trying to create what is in their mind a more complete fantasy character, one with a family, friends, etc. I say that because I've also seen them refer to certain wizards as their brother, sister, father, or mother. In some cases these are real family members who play the game, but in many cases these are pretend relationships that they've come up with to generate their own in game story. I've also seen players put together their own clans like you'd find in other games. So, yeah it seems strange to many of us, and it can be annoying when they just keep throwing those things out randomly, but I don't think it's the kind of problem you're worried about.


um its not really just younger players (ever think of the like 40+ year olds who never had a girlfriend irl so they take in out in-game?) but anyway i have seen people with open chat asking that (anybody would assume open chat people are 18+ right?) but anyway, you know how its usually in the commons? i have seen that even in cl! btw anyone ever see an in-game proposal? so yea it is REALLY annoying.


Actually, I don't just assume anyone with open chat is 18+. I've seen too many people who aren't adults have open chat. Some parents simply don't pay that much attention to a game or don't know any better. There's also the possibility that their kid has shown them how hard it is to communicate relevant game info without open chat, and the parent figures their kid is old and smart enough not to do something really stupid like give away real world personal info to a stranger. Then again, I've seen adults that didn't have open chat on simply because they didn't know how to unlock it until I or another player told them how. Either way, I certainly don't make any assumptions based on open chat.

As for the 40 yr old comment, I think maybe you've watched one too many Judd Apatow movies. Yeah, there are people out there with poor social lives, but adults don't come to games like this with that in mind...unless there's something much more inappropriate than that going on with them. There are far too many other places online where such a person could go with both greater odds of success and lesser odds of ending up on a list that could involve an embarrassing deep background check by various law enforcement and volunteer groups.


good points, and i dont really assume every single person with open chat is 18+. about the movie thing i have no clue who Judd Apatow is lol, wasnt really literal. either way still annoying


Oh, I agree that it's annoying. I just don't think it's a threat to the kids involved. Btw, Judd Apatow (not sure I spelled the name right) is the guy behind mega-hit movies like 40 year old Virgin and quite a few others. Simply trying to make a movie reference pun given the previous discussion.

Mastermind
Jun 23, 2010
345
Ranos131 wrote:
queenlybluebean wrote:
It's dismaying to me that some wizards in our community are making inappropriate assumptions about the children in game. Why in the world would someone obsess over the fantasy that children are seeking one another out for any reason other than to try out their gender roles in a secure, non-threatening environment. If you think so poorly of them in-game, I can't imagine what you dream they are doing on the playground IRL.

Iridian, Scarlet, Moira, wizarding mom of Hunter Skullthief and
Dolan Mythcaster

Shortly after I started playing Wizard101, I was in the Commons and saw a girl running around saying "I need a boy." Out of curiosity, to see if she was looking for a boy for the reason I thought she was, I responded. I asked what she wanted a boy for. Her respons was, "for hex".

Amused I continued to go along with it. I eventually ended up in her dorm. When I ported in, the bed was in the middle of the room so when I popped in, I was in the middle of the bed. In addition to myself, the girl had another boy in the room as well.

She asked if we should start, the other boy responded yes and they began chatting using very creative words to replace the banned words to make it seem like they were doing what you seem to think they wouldn't do.

Now here is the problem you are overlooking. Just because there is a wizard running around saying, "I need a boy," or, "I need a girl," does not mean that person is truly seeking a child of the male or female gender. Given the fact that the age appearence of the wizard avatars in game is pre-teen to early teen, the natural way for everyone to call eachother is boys and girls, because that is what everyone looks like.

What you are really seeing when you see someone looking for a boy or girl is a teenager or adult who is looking to exploit the environment that brings adults and children together. They are attempting to do what you don't believe they are attempting to do.

I have no illusions that children are running around saying, "I need a boy/girl," for the sake of doing something bad. As has already been stated, most people, children included, who are looking for help actually say they need help, ask people if they can help them do a quest or use some other way for actually asking for help.

I think KI should turn off the notification that pops up letting everyone know that they have just been reported. Then, when someone sees a person running around asking for a boy or girl, they can be reported and the admins at KI can follow up after that person finds the boy or girl they are looking for.

If you don't believe what I am saying, then respond to the person looking for a boy or girl. See what exactly it is that they want. Go to their dorm if they ask you. Now I'm sure there are times where it will actually be someone looking for help, but I would bet most of the time it is someone looking for something else.


There is a great example of when to report them! That crosses the line the from annoying to inappropriate.

Thanks for posting this. In my mind when you need help you state that.

Megan-Formerly Firefan02

Defender
Feb 23, 2010
163
norr4687 wrote:
Everyone has made good points on this. I think that queenlybean or what ever her name is. Might be angry because her point was proven wrong. There isn't really no need to fight about it though. There are bad people out in the world. Wether you want to addmit to this or not.

I hang out in the commons sometimes and watch what goes on.
It's not always just asking for a boy or girl a good bit of time they ask for a boy o friend or girl o friend. In both cases I have said you dont need a boy or girl this isn't a dating site. They will tell me i am just an old person who dont know how to have fun. There are even times when an adult (or claimed to be with open chat and all) would tell me thay are just having fun.

Also I have asked them why they are asking that. They would say because they can or They are bored. When i ask them why not do mission they simply state " I dont want to." I have been reported more then a few times for telling them they need to stop. Although I am not worried about it. Have to actully do something wrong before I can get in trouble.

Anyway I think this can be fixed it would take time but it would work. KI should make it a reportable offence. I know that at first there would be allot of reports on it but slowly it would slow down as people realize that it is no longer acceptable. I dont know weather or not KI will consider this. But to better protect our children it would be a great idea.


I have to disagree on two points. The first is that queeny was proven wrong. She never said that there weren't people doing inappropriate things. She simply said that we don't need to jump to conclusions that all of the kids who said I want a boy or I want a Girl are doing something inappropriate. Some are, and some aren't. Even the ones who are aren't really doing anything dangerous. A little racy chat in a family friendly game, while not ideal, is better than a lot of the alternatives of what kids could be doing online...especially since a lot of computers come with webcams built into them. Personally, I think the only real threat to any kids in the game is giving away real life personal info, and KI does everything it can do to prevent that. Getting back to the boy/girl wanting bit, there is a third option. It doesn't have to be either they simply want someone to quest with or that they're looking for a little cyber loving. I've seen quite a few group of young players that have built their own storyline within the overarching game storyline. They've assembled their groups and ordered them in various ways. Some of these groups refer to each other as if they were members of an army. Others pretend that they're families, complete with a mother and father, brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, and boy and girl friends. I'm not saying this is always the case, but that it does account for some of the instances where you see younger players referring to someone as their girl/boy friend.

Secondly, and most importantly, I don't think she was upset because she felt she was proven wrong. I think she understandably got upset because those responding to her comments were rather insulting, whether they meant to be or not. The impression seemed to be that she was somehow a poor parent who had no idea what her kids or their friends were up to. If her response was accurate, then it seems like she's been about as protective and involved as a parent can be. She even went so far as to talk with everyone on her kids friends list and tell him to delete anyone she was unsure of. The response to that? Well, how do you know they are who they said they are? Not, sounds like you're doing a great job with your kid. Not, wow, you've really gone out of your way to keep tabs on your kid. Simply, oh yeah, well how do you know what you're doing matters. Whether or not that was the intent of some of the comments, that's the impression they leave. All of this because she chooses to not assume the absolute worst about everyone she meets. Sounds to me like she's striking an appropriate balance with her parenting. She's not an absentee parent, nor is she bugging her kids room and dusting for prints as soon as he goes to school. That's a good thing, as we all need to realize that, at the end of the day we can only look after kids so much. Eventually, they will have time on their own. We have to try and teach them the difference between right and wrong, and smart and dumb, and hope that they remember these lessons when those on their own times come along.

1